and then she said.

I was in the middle of an intake interview, going over our standard questions to find out how to best assist this client. She was four months pregnant with her fourth child, my age, and living in Kalamazoo's domestic violence shelter.

She told me all about her story and that her older kids were living with her mom due to the domestic violence issues with their dad. She was currently staying in the shelter, hiding from the father of the new baby.

She made a comment about thinking my wedding ring was pretty. And then she said, "Is married life fun?"

A lot of times, people say crazy things to me in these interviews...tell me crazy or heartbreaking or horrifying stories. And most of the time I don't blink, and don't baulk. But this simple question caught me so off guard that I completely forgot my train of thought.

Because here I am, a twenty-something year old with an amazing husband who I love being married to and is my best friend. And there she was, sitting across from me, the same age. And she had never been with a man that didn't hit her. She has never known any other type of relationship.

So when she asked this question, I didn't know how to react. Is she wondering what a marriage without abuse is like? Is she wondering what it's like to have a consistent partner to stand by your side? Does she even know that love doesn't have to be that way? That loving someone doesn't have to come with the bruises and scars and fear?

I'm not even sure I answered her really. Sometimes the amount of help some of these people need is overwhelming...and I know it's far beyond anything I can give them. But sometimes, it really weighs on me. 

To help people like her, and others in need in Kalamazoo County, click here to donate to HRI. We are constantly running around thinking of ways to help our clients, but we can't do it without funding. OR come out and WALK HOME with us on March 22nd. 

Be the change. Make the difference.